


Needy Hands and Needy Hearts

by faequeentitania



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Love, Redeemed Ben Solo, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 18:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14384511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faequeentitania/pseuds/faequeentitania
Summary: It was easy to forget, sometimes, that though their bond allowed them to practically live inside each other’s heads, there was still so much about him she didn't know. Things that upset him that she couldn't account for until she stumbled onto them.There was a guilty feeling in her heart that she should have known this one though. Should have known better. Rey truly hadn't meant anything by it; she was just trying to tease him, play with him a little.





	Needy Hands and Needy Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> There's been some really heartbreaking meta since _Last Shot_ came out about Baby Ben and how his need for closeness and affection clearly wasn't being met by his parents in the way that he needed, so I wrote this utterly self indulgent emotional hurt/comfort because I can't! handle! the feels!
> 
> Don't ask me the circumstances that are allowing them to have this gentle morning moment, all I know is I needed a soft, redeemed Ben Solo feeling guilty for his level of desire for affection and Rey telling him exactly how much that's silly.

It was easy to forget, sometimes, that though their bond allowed them to practically live inside each other’s heads, there was still so much about him she didn't know. Things that upset him that she couldn't account for until she stumbled onto them.

There was a guilty feeling in her heart that she should have known this one though. Should have known better. Rey truly hadn't meant anything by it; she was just trying to tease him, play with him a little.

“Uh-uh,” Ben grunted sleepily, tightening his arm around her when she tried to get out of bed, then his voice floated through her head, _Stay._

Rey chortled, trying to crane her head back to look at him, but Ben just pulled her back tighter against his chest and wedged his leg between hers.

It was going to be one of those days, she sensed; where Ben wanted nothing but her, wanted nothing else but silent conversations through their bond and constant touch.

It had already been a process, just getting him to let her go long enough to use the refresher an hour ago, and only the absolute promise that she would come back to bed would get him to relent.

Sometimes that was all he needed, just a bit of extra time in the early morning, when the light was still soft and the world was quiet. Just a little time between her habitually early wake up and the start of their day where he could be the big spoon a bit more or they could make love before sharing a shower.

“We were going to get new couplings for the _Falcon_ today,” she reminded him, and he gave a non-committal grunt in reply.

A do nothing day, then. Rey could live with that.

Then her stomach rumbled, reminding her what she wanted to get out of bed for. She tried again, and Ben gave a low whine of protest.

 _“Ben,”_ she half laughed, half groaned. “I’m _hungry._ ”

He whined again pathetically, making absolutely no move to let her go, and Rey huffed with amusement.

“I'll make caf,” she offered sing-songingly, brushing her fingers along his arm. No dice.

 _I’ll eat you out if you skip breakfast?_ His voice offered hopefully, making Rey chortle.

The offer was admittedly tempting, but her stomach gave another gurgle of protest. She wiggled in his arms, twisting until she could force her way onto her back, and Ben begrudgingly accommodated, shuffling down to lay his head on her chest instead.

She sighed at the ceiling, rolling her eyes a little, but she couldn't keep the fond smile off her face. Sometimes she imagined what people would think if they only knew that the once fearsome Kylo Ren, former Supreme Leader of the First Order, often wanted nothing more from his day than to have his hair petted and his neck kissed.

His neck was out of reach in this position, but she could certainly stroke his hair, so she did.

He sighed contently, shifting the weight of his torso a little further into her, and she gave his hair a little tug.

“Ugh, you’re so needy,” she teased with a smirk.

What she expected was perhaps a tickle or a pinch, maybe even his teeth in a playful bite of retaliation before doubling down his grip on her, wrapping her up in his body even more.

Instead, a hot flash of shame from him left her reeling. A second later he let her go, subtly closing her out of his thoughts.

“Sorry,” he whispered, shifting away and laying on his back next to her, his hands coming to rest on his abdomen.

Rey turned her head to look at his profile, momentarily frozen in confusion at his abrupt withdrawal and wounded feelings.

“Still offering that caf?” he tried to play it off, tried to be casual through the sudden tension between them that she didn't understand.

She didn't know what she had done wrong, but she had certainly learned by then that it was never a good idea to let Ben Solo stew.

Rey pushed up on her elbow to lean over him, pressing along his side and rubbing her open hand over his chest.

“What's wrong?” she insisted, but like the stubborn _drakka_ that he was, he closed his eyes and turned his head away.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, fooling absolutely no one as he feigned trying to doze off again, “Go get some breakfast.”

She flicked his nose, and he gave an indignant grunt as he looked at her with a confused crease between his eyebrows.

_“Ow.”_

“I mean it,” she said softly, stroking his cheek with the backs of her fingers in apology for the flick. “Talk to me.”

She could be stubborn too, he had to know that by now. She wasn't going to let him brush this off.

His eyes slid over her face, his lips pressing together in that vulnerable way she recognized as him trying to compose himself. She stroked his cheek again, his scar distinct under her touch as she waited.

“It’s fine,” he murmured. “You were right, I was being needy. That's all.”

She frowned. “I was just teasing you, I didn't mean that.”

He shrugged anyway. “It’s alright. You wouldn't be the first person to say it.”

She sensed a wound with those words, something long standing and never quite healed. She leaned her head down to kiss him, pressing across their connection as she did so, asking his permission to be allowed access to his feelings again.

He was hesitant, she could tell; still ashamed of his reaction to her words and making an effort to hide it.

“Hey,” she murmured against his lips, rubbing his chest again gently. “Let me love you.”

He gave a shivery exhale, one of his hands coming up to lay over hers on his chest, and she pressed again across their bond.

He kissed her again as he finally caved, letting her be privy to his thoughts once more.

She caught snippets of memories in his mind; his mother and father talking in hushed tones they didn't think he would hear, Leia’s distinct voice, “He’s just so clingy, Han, I don't know what to do with him. I thought it would get better as he got older but it's just gotten _worse._ ” Luke, a stern look on his face, “You cannot be so demanding, Ben. You are not the only pupil here.”

Flashes of him being handed off to a care droid, again and again as his mother dashed off to some important Republic event or another, his desperate desire for her attention like a pain in his stomach. Han taking off in the _Falcon_ , leaving him behind, leaving him on his own.

Rey moved to lay over him, breaking the kiss to bury her face against his neck as her arms squeezed on either side of his chest tightly.

 _I’m sorry,_ she said through their minds, _I’m so sorry, Ben._

He gave a little shrug, his hands settling on her waist and his cheek pressing against the top of her head. _You had it worse._

_Not the point. You needed them and they weren’t there._

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, and a surge of grateful affection flooded across the bond.

 _And for the record,_ she added, kissing his neck warmly, _I am never, ever unhappy that you want me close to you._

She thought of Jakku, and her lonely existence in that unforgiving desert; no one there ever wanted her around unless they thought they could gain something from her. The idea of being wanted just for her company and nothing more hadn’t even been a thought.

A fierce pulse of his love washed over her, almost bringing tears to her eyes, and Rey squeezed her arms around him and kissed his neck again.

_I didn’t mean to hurt you. I really was just trying to wind you up a little. If anything, I was expecting you to cuddle me harder out of spite. Kind of looked forward to you doing it, actually._

He gave a little breathy laugh against her hair, then pressed a kiss there.

_Revenge cuddling?_

She laughed at how unexpectedly funny she found that, and he did too.

_Yes, exactly!_

He hummed, his amusement like a tickle in the back of her head. Then he stroked his hands down her back warmly, and Rey all but melted on top of him at how nice it felt.

 _I love you,_ she sent warmly, _And I love that you always want me. I always want you too._

He let out a little puff of air from between his lips, and ran his hands over her again.

_Even when I keep you from breakfast?_

She snickered and nibbled at his neck, getting a possessive little thrill from the way he gasped and moaned.

_Even then._

Ben pressed his lips to her hair again, and Rey finally raised her head to look at him. _I really am hungry, though._

He gave a little smile, and kissed her.

_I guess I can let you out of bed for some toast._

_I’ll come right back. I’ll even bring you caf, like I promised._

_You are far too good to me._

There was a heaviness to his words that Rey recognized, and she did her best to kiss his self-depreciation away.

_I’m good to you exactly the right amount. Trust me, it’s an exact science, and I’ve mastered it._

He chortled against her lips, and she pulled back to smile at him for a second before leaning in to kiss the side of his nose, then across his cheek.

_Thank you._

That beautiful, grateful affection of his slid across the bond, making Rey feel warm.

_Any time, my love._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to come say hi on [tumblr](https://faequeentitania.tumblr.com).


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